


Two Kids In Love

by DumpsterDiving101



Category: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Genre: Brotherly Angst, Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, Homophobia, M/M, Murder, Poison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumpsterDiving101/pseuds/DumpsterDiving101
Summary: Jonathan and Dr. Einstein were not kids, and they were definitely not in love. Their relationship was weird in a way where everyone was a bit confused over what they were- it was clear that Jonathan scared Dr.Einstein, but at the same time, he constantly praised him on his work. In truth, Jonathan liked only one person besides himself, and that was Einstein. But no one was sure just in what way Jonathan liked him.





	Two Kids In Love

Jonathan and Dr. Einstein were not kids, and they were definitely not in love. Their relationship was weird in a way where everyone was a bit confused over what they were- it was clear that Jonathan scared Dr.Einstein, but at the same time, he constantly praised him on his work. In truth, Jonathan liked only one person besides himself, and that was Einstein. But no one was sure just in what way Jonathan liked him. 

After Teddy was sent to Happy Dale, the aunts had put up such a fuss that it was almost reassuring to them to be in the care of at least one of their nephews again. Jonathan and Einstein needed a place to stay, and Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha needed someone to care for- as was their nature- so a deal was formed. Jonathan and Einstein could stay and live with them, but they were not allowed to kill anyone or perform any operations in the house. "And no bringing any bodies in here either," Aunt Abby had added harshly when they were making the deal, "No more Spenalzos."

Jonathan argued, but eventually the aunts and Einstein managed to convince him. It was a difficult task- Jonathan always, always got what he wanted- but after the aunts agreed that Einstein could operate on Jonathan in the house, he decided it was as good of a deal as he was going to get. He did suggest offing his aunts and taking the house for himself, but he wasn't on the will. Only Mortimer was, and Jonathan wasn't about to let him have the house. 

When Mortimer had found out that Jonathan was moving he, he was furious. "How could you! How could you let him stay under your roof, knowing all the things he's done, the people he's killed?!" 

"Now Mortimer," Martha scolded, "That isn't very nice. Jonathan is your brother. Really, you two should make up."

That wasn't about to happen, especially after Jonathan tried to kill him that one night with the curtain cords, so instead Mortimer moved out. He and Elaine were to be married soon- her father insisted on giving them marriage counseling in the church first, so that delayed the wedding a few weeks- so Mortimer became a boarder at a house down the road. He was able to go to his plays, write his critiques, spend time with Elaine, and occasionally- though it was more and more occasional what with Jonathan's presence- visit his dear old aunts. 

It truly was a wonder. After all those years, finally the remaining living Brewsters were back together, maybe not in the same house, but the same city at least. As for Teddy, he was very happy at Happy Dale. Martha and Abby visiting multiple times a week, and found that he was very content, and already had names for all of the nurses and staff. They saluted him and called him 'Mr.President', and he couldn't be better.

It was a warm September day when everything seemed at ease once more. Mortimer had settled into his new home, as did Jonathan and Einstein, who had requested to room together, rejecting Martha's offer of her room. "I'll room with Martha," she offered worriedly, "And then Dr.Einstein can have his own room. Wouldn't that be nice, especially if you're staying for a while."

"Dr. Einstein doesn't want his own room," Jonathan said sharply. "He's sleeping with me; end of discussion."

It seemed that in whatever weird twisted relationship the two men had, Einstein didn't have a say in much. But now he had a home, and he just adored the elderberry wine Martha served- sin poison, of course- so he wasn't one to complain. 

So yes, they were settled in, the boys in their shared room, Mortimer in his house, etc, etc. The reason I chose this day to start from in particular is because this warm, September day was no ordinary day in the Brewster house because it just so happened that this was the day an old man stumbled in, asking about a room. 

Now, Aunt Abby and Martha had removed all advertisements of a room for rent at Mortimer's request, back when Teddy had just left for the Sanitarium. So really, there was no reason for the man to be there; yet there he was. 

"I'm sorry, the room is not currently available," Martha was saying when Abby came in from the kitchen. "I hope you're able to find someplace." 

"Someplace to do what?" Abby interrupted, before freezing and staring at the man. "Oh. Yes, the room is taken."

"It's a shame," he grumbled, a hand on his lower back painfully. "I don't have... well, anywhere to go. I've got no family in town and my landlord kicked me out, I just... after this, I have no where left to turn." 

Abby stiffened. "I don't know about the room, but... but... at least stay for some wine?"

"Abby!" Martha scolded. "We can't- but Mortimer-" 

"Wine would be wonderful," the man said through a pair of cracked, dry lips. "If you don't mind. Some company would be... and wine... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get emotional. I just... I've been so lonely lately." He dragged a wrinkled hand over his cheek, wiping away a bit of wetness. He was quite wrinkled, most certainly older than both Aunts. 

Martha wrung her hands nervously. "Yes, I do suppose so. We have some delicious red-" 

"No, I think he'd like the elderberry more," Abby interrupted. "We've got some in the cupboard, why don't you sit down, Mr, uh, what was it again?"

He smiled, and made his way slowly to the chair, hand on his back the whole while. "Hoskins."

Both aunts nearly jumped out of their skin. "Hopkins?!"

He chuckled good-naturedly. "No no, Hoskins, with an S. Don't worry about it."

"Abby, could I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?" It was clear that it was not a question. "Mr, erm, Hoskins, just... make yourself at home."

Pattering into the kitchen, Martha balled up some of her skirt fabric in frustration. "Abby! You know what Mortimer said, just as good as I do; we can't do this anymore!"

"There's enough room!" Abby pleaded. "Please, Martha, just look at him! All alone in the world, and with that back! This is the best way we can help him!" 

Martha didn't like it. "I haven't made any more of the wine, not since Jonathan came home."

"There's still some left," Abby said enthusiastically, trying to convince her. "From Mr.Hopkins, and the sanitarium director, Mr.Witherspoon. Just a little, but it's fine. You only need a little." 

Outside the kitchen, a thump was heard- the front door. The two sisters turned to each other, before hurrying out. 

"Mr.Hos- oh. Jonathan. You're back early."

Indeed he was. Their slightly psychotic nephew stood frozen in the sitting room, staring at the elderly man at the kitchen table. Upon his aunts entry, his eyes snapped up, giving them some sort of half annoyed, half interested glare. "Who is this?" 

"Mr.Hoskins, dear." Abby sent him a look, begging him not to spoil it. 

"We're letting him try some of our wine," Martha agreed. 

Jonathan had been scratching at his brow, but now he froze. "Your.... elderberry wine?"

It was through gritted teeth which Martha spoke, "Yes Jonathan. Why don't you go up to your room?"

"Ha!" He exclaimed, making Abby jolt. "You think I'm going to miss an opportunity like this? No please, just pretend I'm not here." With that he stroud over to the table, straddling the empty chair and staring at the old man with almost professional curiosity. When he realized no one was moving, he raised an eyebrow. "Go on aunties. That wine isn't going to pour itself."

Mr.Hoskins shifted uncomfortably. "Is this a bad time? I didn't mean to interrupt."

Abby and Martha made eyes at each other, Abby's expression pleading while Martha's unsure. Finally, Martha sighed. "No, you're not interrupting. Abby, would you like to get the wine?"

Abby beamed. "I would love to."

*************************************************************

"That's it?!"

"Now Jonathan, don't be rude," Abby scolded, before smiling at the body laying limp on the chair as she cleared the wine from the table. "Look, Martha. So peaceful. I bet his back doesn't hurt anymore."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "Nothing hurts anymore, you killed him."

"Jonathan! We do not use that word!"

"What? Kill? Murder? You just assassinated a stranger in our sitting room and your angry at me for calling it what it is?" He slammed his fist on the table, making the glasses shake. 

The front door opened softly, the doctor stumbling in. "I'm hoooommeee!"

Three out of four heads turned (the fourth was attached to a dead Mr.Hoskins), and watched the slightly tipsy Dr.Einstein stumble forwards. 

Ever since he teamed up with Jonathan, the doctor was very seldom sober. Sometimes however, he went a little past his limit, and this may have been one of those nights. 

Some doctor he was. Giggling slightly, Einstein walked forwards and observed the corpse propped up on the chair, tapping his cheek comically. "Look, Chonny. He's dead, hee hee!" 

"I noticed, doctor." Jonathan replied in his normal deep, scratchy tone as he stood, causing Einstein to giggle more, stumbling forwards and catching himself on the collar of Jonathan's overcoat, and hanging on. 

"Did you miss me?" The drunk man questioned giddily, his German accent so thick from the alcohol it was hard to baje out the words.

Abby and Martha watched Einstein cling to Jonathan's jacket in horror, the two men closer than comfortable. Licking his lips, Jonathan mumbled lowly, so they almost couldn't hear, "Where were you, doctor. Drinking I presume?"

"Ju know it," he giggled again, pulling himself up so his chest was pressed up against Jonathan's. "Drink, drank, drunk, drink until the sun comes up."

"It's seven at night," Jonathan smiled fondly at his tipsy companion. 

"Oh! Dinner's on the stove!" Abby remembered, turning and rushing to the kitchen, Martha at her heels. 

Einstein was leaning so heavily on Jonathan that he had to had to take a small step back to hold the both of them up. "Look at what my aunts did. Killed an old man. And with poison! What a waste of good wine."

"Yah, Chonny. What are they going to do with him? 

Jonathan froze. "The cellar is full, isn't it? Aunt Abby, Martha, get in here?"

"Jonathan, what's the matter?" Abby asked, partially angry and partially worried as she hurried in from the kitchen, Martha at her heels as always. 

"The cellar is full! What do you plan to do with that body?"


End file.
